06 · How to meet me
Talk to me.
i hear fine. i just don't speak. write, sign, or type, i'll read it.
This is the short, honest guide I wish people had before they met me. None of it is complicated. Most of it is just patience. Tap a section to open the cards under it.
In public, when we've never met
the basics. nothing scary.
Do
- ✓Speak normally. I can hear you perfectly.
- ✓Look at me, not at whoever's with me.
- ✓Wait while I type or sign back. The lag is real.
- ✓Read what's on my tablet, even when it sounds robotic.
- ✓Be okay with a written 'hi' instead of a spoken one.
Don't
- ✕Don't slow your voice down or use baby words.
- ✕Don't ask the adult next to me 'does he understand?'
- ✕Don't say 'cat got your tongue?', please, never.
- ✕Don't assume I'm deaf and start shouting.
- ✕Don't try to finish my sentences for me.
At school
for teachers and classmates.
Do
- ✓Let me answer in writing or via tablet. That is participating.
- ✓Give me notice before sudden schedule changes.
- ✓Pair me with one quiet classmate for group work, not five loud ones.
- ✓Give written instructions, not long verbal lists.
- ✓Trust the accommodations on file. They exist for a reason.
Don't
- ✕Don't call on me without warning.
- ✕Don't penalise me for 'not participating verbally'.
- ✕Don't take my tablet away. It is my voice.
- ✕Don't tell substitute teachers I'm 'just shy', I'm not shy. I'm mute.
- ✕Don't ask me to apologise out loud after a misunderstanding.
When I'm overloaded
the most important section.
Do
- ✓Lower the noise. Lights too if you can.
- ✓Move dangerous things away. Then leave space.
- ✓Sit where I can see you. Breathe slowly.
- ✓Wait. Honestly, just wait. I'll come back.
- ✓If you must touch me, only my younger sister can without warning.
Don't
- ✕Don't grab me, shake me, or raise your voice.
- ✕Don't try to talk me through it in real time.
- ✕Don't ask 'what's wrong?' I can't answer right now.
- ✕Don't film it. Ever.
- ✕Don't call it manipulation, drama, or attention-seeking.
When I panic, the double silence
i can't type either. that's the point.
When panic hits, I freeze. My hands shake. I cannot type, sign, or move. The tablet sits useless in my lap. The first silence is the one I was born with. The second is the one panic adds.
The best thing you can do is exactly what helps a meltdown: lower noise, sit nearby, breathe slowly, wait. Don't shake me. Don't shout. Don't run for help that I'll later have to explain. If we're in public and it's lasting more than ten minutes, fetch the adult who's with me. They know the script.
Online, DMs, comments, replies
kindness travels weirdly online.
Do
- ✓Keep messages clear and reasonably short.
- ✓Quote the bit you're replying to. My memory loves context.
- ✓Use plain words. Sarcasm doesn't always cross the screen.
- ✓Wait days for an answer. I get to writing when I can.
- ✓Tell me what you actually want, not just 'hi'.
Don't
- ✕Don't DM me about bookings. Those go to management.
- ✕Don't send 30 messages in a row. That's a cry into the void.
- ✕Don't get angry if I don't reply. Most people don't.
- ✕Don't screenshot a chat to send to friends without asking.
- ✕Don't assume I owe you a long answer because you sent a long question.
With me, as a friend
patience is the most underrated love language.
Do
- ✓Send first sometimes. Mute kids assume nobody's thinking of them.
- ✓Pick the quietest table. Not the corner near the speakers.
- ✓Order for me if I've signed it across. I trust you.
- ✓Tell me when plans change before they change.
- ✓Sit beside me, not opposite, when something hard is happening.
Don't
- ✕Don't ask if I'm okay every fifteen minutes, that makes it worse.
- ✕Don't hug me without warning, unless you're my younger sister.
- ✕Don't tease me for being quiet around new people.
- ✕Don't repeat what other people said about me; I noticed already.
- ✕Don't perform friendship online if you ghost me offline.
On set (modeling, photoshoots)
the long version is on /modeling.
Do
- ✓Direct me in short, step-by-step language.
- ✓Show me an example pose instead of describing it.
- ✓Keep a guardian and someone from management on set.
- ✓Schedule planned breaks every 45–60 minutes.
- ✓Tell stylists to explain what they're doing near my face.
Don't
- ✕Don't shout direction across a room.
- ✕Don't use strobes or unannounced flashes.
- ✕Don't propose water work, swimwear, underwear, or pyjama shoots.
- ✕Don't touch my face, hair, or jaw suddenly.
- ✕Don't ask me to laugh on cue. I physically can't.
If you're a journalist or interviewer
written interviews only.
I do written interviews, not spoken ones. I can answer thoughtfully if you send questions in writing and give me a few days. Live interviews don't work, even with my tablet, the rhythm is wrong and I'd rather just write a piece for you instead.
All press goes through management. The address is on /contact. Please don't try to "scoop" by DMing my private accounts; I won't reply, and it makes you look worse, not me.